I liked quad last night.

my legs still hurt from whining out that guy to the floor more than once, but it was worth it, and i got over my not wanting to dance to appreciate jcan culture b/c of him and his niceness.

lol he was really nice, step bro to kim and sherria.. and he protected us from all the guys that were female hungry…and i remb why i hated being out my house, but he made it nice i told them he was my bf, lmao.

I swore all the guys secretly wanted to shoot him tho, one guy..three female asses. nice.

Anyways, i think thats all thats on my mind, well not really…there are a few other little things like the quaddage, and a few big things but idk…

oh why not.

so on a bigger scale, i messed up one of my chem papers really badly…because when i was in the exam i was having some sort of physical +mental breakdown due to lack of sleep for so much days and multipersonality disorder indecisive as to whether i should mess the paper up or not—-yes i know. Because the reasoning was that, i wore myself out to nothing to the point that gotting there was hard in the morning the other reasoning was that i really want to get into med. really badly…and if i repeated chem…i could ace it ..and ace it so hard if i only had more time,because i know the stuff i just needed more time..and it would be way easier than level one whose faliure rate is abt 80% and i was lost between all these thoughts in the exam…and these decisions and i capsized…and you know if you fail one paper u fail the entire thing, i really am going to need the grace of God to pass…i really don’t know what i did on it, its all a blurr but im hoping it was enough…and i  slept the next day and didnt worry so much and did the organic paper…and would u beleive it was good…because i wasnt so worn…i dont want that to happen again, my anxiety is not something to mess with…my health isnt either….and i pray to God i got thru, even tho a part of me wouldnt mind acing a course, but repeating is id, i have pride, but i could work just as hard in level one and ace it,eh? yah. Just saying, i wish i had THAT reasoning in the exam, and not a whole bunch of thoughts all changing in a few mins.

So now that thats a big thing, lets get another little one off my head =]

Saw a realllyy reallly hot indian guy yesterday in MY complex  was in shock…without his shirt on…in his jeep and he came out repeatedly and was staring at me while we were parking,he came to Marlon the rasta dudeee with the baby mama drama, anyways….but he drove out before i got out the car :(..but i went to walk jynx a little later and saw him and marlon down the road..in a corner, which could only mean weed…but yeah and he got out the car again to stand and stare…lol …and i left with jynx..

and i came home and prayed to God that i would get to see him again

i saw marlon tday tho and he said “my bregrin saw you yesterday and love u off”

me: **temp dazed** “really where?? who?”

marlon:” you dont remb that guy in the jeep yesterday”

[was i that obvious? wow]

me: “oh yeah i saw him..”

marlon : “yeah he kept asking whos the pretty girl”

me: “oh, lol awww..*smiles*”

So I’m Praying again lol….

and feeling quite silly.

So then another big thing, and then i leave here..

My mother doesnt like the neighbour,despite the fact that the neighbour is the doctor that is half way responsible for saving daddys life and she has a very filthy mouth, a very loud filthy mouth….and due to this…shes nothing but a disgrace here, due to the fact that she and daddy dont get along, she and i dont get along she is again, nothing but a disgrace. Shes bitter, she curses, she has no pride, nothing about her she has a mental condition, I i can’t even comprehend it….i live in an apartment complex, the walls are not soundproof, and i make no fun to chuck her in a corner, tell her to fuck off or shut the fuck up if she wont give me my peace and quiet and have some decency about herself…not that that is me having decency, but she…she doesnt listen unless ur drastic, you could tell her quietly 20 times that her voice is too loud or what shes saying is disgusting and damaging and she wont listen but the second you shout and tell her to go away shes giving you a headache, the second u make it just as drastic, just as painful…she listens…the abuse…she listens to the abuse…i often wondered why she and daddy everytime they have an argument they bring up each others dead parents,thats a sore issue for them both…but..its like nothing to take it and stab nothing at all, and one retracts, one reacts, its abusive and they are use to it.. I cannot do it all, i often try…but its not easy. Now the neighbour and daddy and I are good friends, and the neighbours daughter, tho psycho manipulative yes, is my friend. I went to her thing much to my mothers dislike apparently but to daddys liking..when i got home, she cursed the woman, cursed her child …cursed me…cursed daddy …said the most filthiest things in her vocabulary…regarding the woman accused daddy of sleeping with her…etc, now i know she doesnt want me to have friends or go newhere but at 2am in the morning…its pretty quiet….

The neighbour heard.

The neighbour told daddy yesterday, all daddy could do was say….thats how its been for years, he cant do nething else about it….he’s very sorry…its not mine or his fault

The neighbor thought it was something SHE did wrong…

hilarious.

why mommy doesnt talk to her why if they drive in at the same time she makes sure she comes out the car first, why she’s classed as the dutty stinking crothches woman.

I asked daddy what we were going to do…

he said nothing….theres nothing we can do..

I’m sure she isn’t the only one who heard.

I look at her and she’s deteorating, as she wakes up, she starts right back til she goes to bed.

I just don’t know what to do anymore.




Theres nothing that can be done.

Mmm…i think thats all i have on my mind, for now.

Oh, i’m working towards one goal….lets hope i acheive it, or by the looks of things,we’re all going to be left with nothing.

Time time, precious, hate it. precious.

Oooh, i love jynx =]